Arpana Greenwood

"It is the human brain that holds the capacity to destroy this globe, or make it into a paradise."

What is going on in this world? The growing demands of these technological times make our lives increasingly complex and stressful. The pressure of job performance, the challenges of growing information input and the winds of incessant change have moved us to a new threshold. But, are these advancements growing quicker than our ability to cope?

Prophecies from Nostradamus, the Mayan calendar and many others predict an approaching end to the world as we know it. Indeed, tsunamis and earthquakes are knocking on our doors. The globe is warming and temperatures wildly fluctuating. The ozone layers are thinning, the earth is rumbling, and we are still slaves to oil. 2005 has witnessed some of the gravest natural disasters in recent history. These are threats against all of our lives to which most people don’t pay attention or are in denial. The message behind all of this, however, is roaring loudly: Wake up!

The gospel singers scream: Jesus is the one. The woman conducting the choir later asks me what I am doing. When I tell her that I am a Neuro-linguistic Programmer, she responds: “Well, just make sure to know that it is Jesus who has given it to you. Praise Jesus in your classes.” Ironically, as she speaks to me, we can hear loud prayers from a mosque around the corner: “Allah is the only one. Allah is the one.”

It appears that traditional religions are competing against each other more than ever before. In politics, human rights and ethics are no longer guiding lights but are ruled by personal and family power agendas. We are exposed daily to the words: This is the only God. This is the right political party. This nation is the one. Mass hypnosis in its absolutistic form is creating the hope that there is “The One” person or “The One” religion that will rescue us from these pressing issues.

As a response to increased nationalism and political and religious dogmatism, there is growing interest in alternative spiritual movements. Buddhism, Zen, Taoism, the teachings of Gurdieff and many ways of meditative disciplines such as yoga and martial arts are revitalized and innovated. So, too, are contemporary spiritual communities and enlightenment movements attracting large crowds.

A dear friend of mine is a Vipassana teacher. While discussing with him the related dimensions of mind, body and emotions, his look all of a sudden turns stern. He says, “There is one truth above all: The silence of the mind. Everyone has to learn that. The mind has to become silent for everyone.” Thus were my arguments cut off, and I found myself having to listen to the preaching of a monologue.

The wise older lady conducting a spiritual sharing teaches everyone how to “not be” and “be nothing.” The point is to distance oneself from the tendency to identify with body or mind. “There is only the one truth,” she tells us. “You are not. Whatever you believe is fake and a trap of the mind. Stop it.” Any comments or questions from the listeners are responded to with: “You are in your mind” or “Get off your mind.” No matter whether the questioner can process the answer or whether it is helpful to him or her, this only answer seems to be the only solution.

The gospel singers’ teachings of Jesus have nothing to do with my classes. The Vipassana teacher’s practice of silencing the mind has nothing to do with what all people should do. Of course, each and every one of these teachings can be so valuable, so helpful and rich in so many ways. However, if the same judgmental and discriminating language is used, if we hear any form of “This is the only truth”, or “Follow me, I know,” we inevitably find ourselves in the same trap of desperately grasping too tightly to one ‘truth.’

Claiming to know the one truth for all (or claiming to know about another’s experience) is a form of dogmatism. One truth for all—no matter of its content—cannot work. Why? Simply because it does not allow individual perspectives and excludes the fact that human beings are unique.

Absolute or dogmatic language is “ill-formed” according to NLP. It is based on the fallacy that there is a right and wrong way, which automatically leads to idealism, punishment and guilt and, thus, polarizes the listener. Dogmatism is not education but manipulation. Yet, our mind has a tendency to innocently follow—just as it might innocently follow to breath the air-filled fumes of an evaporating chemical bomb.

Thinking and speaking in form of judgments and in the “right/wrong” way seems to be an instinctive tendency of human mind. So, what is it that would allow us to transcend this instinct and fall prey to automatic judgments? Just think about it! The human brain is an exquisite, brilliant mechanism that allows us to move beyond instinct. On average, we are using only 10% of our brain capacity. Millions of neurons, neuro-pathways, different modes of perception, thought and speech—truly, there are so many more solutions than just one! It is the human brain that holds the capacity to destroy this globe, or make it into a paradise.

Our thinking, speaking and intelligence are produced by our brain. Just like the movements of Tai Chi, the needles in acupuncture or the touch in massage therapy, the language we use functions (internally or externally) like a highly influential treatment. Would you like some keys to identify the signals and re-language dogmatic thinking and speaking?

Here is an example: One evening at the end of a seminar, I found myself enthusiastically expressing to the group, “Everyone should learn to use language. It would rescue the world.” I quickly noticed then that I had lost my audience. I gasped and stopped my own speech. I reflected, while smiling about myself: Everyone? Really everyone? With a deep sigh, I went into a moment of awe and re-languaged myself. I asked the listeners, “Can I please take this back?”

Please take a moment for yourself and investigate a recent conflict or hurtful situation that you may still be experiencing as a result of unsuccessful communication. Remember the exact language that was used and ask yourself: Which “right or wrong” thinking was hiding behind the words? What was the incorrect or poisonous judgment that was being held?

After identifying the trigger, take a deep breath, stop and pat yourself on the shoulder for noticing. Respond to yourself with a smile and allow yourself to enter into a mood of curiosity and flexibility. Rather than assuming, ask questions: “What is true for you?” Wait with your own opinion for the appropriate moment. Perhaps you might use another question: “Can you take in my truth now?” If the answer is yes, then express your opinion in a way the other can understand.

Summary of the three Re-languaging Keys:

1. Identify an unresourceful judgment.

2. Stop & reflect; pat yourself on your shoulder or smile.

3. Transform judgment.

A. Enter into a state of curiosity and flexibility.

B. Respect yourself and the other’s uniqueness and independence.

C. Ask questions that respect the other person’s truth, regardless of yours. Express your truth in a way the other can understand.

People often ask me, “What is spirituality?” I like to answer that it is more than a concept or theory. In truth, it is a constant process of investigation. Spirituality is not a state to be reached; rather, it is about being spiritual moment to moment. Transforming our thinking and speaking is an essential part of this new behavior. On my path of 22 years of meditation and spiritual investigation, one thread has been weaving through my life. Perhaps it will help you too: Wake-up to using language more consciously!